Thursday, April 30, 2009

My Aunt

Shes very sick! She lived with me for about a year a couple years ago! My kids grew very attached to her, she was there everyday, how could they not. When she moved out, it was very sudden and it hurt. I had done nothing to warrant her wanting to leave, we never made her feel unwelcome (intensionally anyway). We didnt hear from her for months. When we did, I wasnt sure I wanted to speak with her, she had broken promises with my children which hurt them, which in turn, hurt me.

Not long after this, she was diagnosed with cancer. That dreaded horrible disease that has taken so many close to me. At first, it didnt affect me. I even questioned myself as to whether or not I really could be that heartless. I couldnt though, i cared regardless of the bad stuff.

We've talked since, shes come to my house since and I had went to hers.

Couple of months ago, we found out theres nothing more they could do for her. She handled it as well as she could finding out this type of news. Yet again, I didnt even shed a tear. Is it because I am immune to the pain of death in my life anymore since I have seen so much of it? I still didnt know the answer.

Monday night, she had a stroke.

Shes now in the hospital. Shes on a morphine drip and when she gets to go home, she will be on 24 hour hospice care.

I did not find out till yesterday.


I have realized so much this week as far as how I handle my emotions. Mainly sadness. I eat.

Not to draw attention away from what is happening to my aunt, but that realization is profound for me.

I cried, than I ate, cried some more and some more food entered my mouth! Didnt even want to workout lastnight.

Shes not doing well, and I could strangle my cousins for not calling me or any other members of the family (BULLSHIT!!! Yep, i said it)!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Weigh in Wednesday at the sisterhood again! Week 5, 3 weeks left!

Bottom Line: I gained! I am at 233 now!

Thats ok! I expected it! I enjoyed food this weekend, too much of it! I am now back on track and ready to kick my fat butt into gear again!!!!!!

Up 1.8 which is what I lost the week before! Its all good!!!


Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Weigh In Wednesday!

Last week: 233
This week: 231.2
Loss for the week: 1.8 lbs
Loss for this challenge: 6 lbs

YAY, a loss after a couple weeks are maintaining!!!! SO nice!!!!!!! I am so happy, wishing for more but no big deal!!!!! I am doing this and will continue doing this!!!!!! I am still 9 bs away from my goal for this challenge! I know I can do this, I do really need to step it up some though!!!! And I will!!!!!

How is everyone else doing?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


My daddy and my girls on easter!

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So I mentioned my inlaws earlier, heres the story to go with it

My inlaws have never ever treated me right. This july me and my husband have been together for 10 years! For 10 years basically i have been the black sheep. So many reasons according to them for this and some of which they have dared not said but I know is part of it.

1. I am not his ex. I did not know he was dating someone when we got together, she was off in bible camp. MY BAD! I found out 2 weeks into our relationship he had a girlfriend who he promptly broke up with the day she returned.
2. I was not and am not skinny (yet). Everyone in his family is skinny in some shape or form. Oh well, he loves my extra fluff!
3, I speak my mind. If you say something that bothers me, i let you know it, i dont keep my mouth shut at all. I will even argue also and get very loud!

These are just 3 things. The things this family has put me through would of caused most woman to just walk away! I almost did about 7.5 years ago!
They had his ex move in while i was preggers with our oldest. They told me i didnt have to come around they didnt care. They had her move into thomas's grandmas house after I had liz and started working again, they tried to teach liz to call her mommy.
They hid her from me whenever I went over there, she hid for hours at a time in the closet cause she knew if i saw her, she would be in a world of hurt! She would write him notes and everything. I left him when liz was about 8 months old. He owuld not allow me to take her until I was settled.
His parents convinced him i abandoned liz and when he went to boot camp, he tried to sign custody over to his parents but it didnt work, I got her anyway! It was bad, very bad!

My brother in law has tried to kill me 3 times! tried to drown me, came after me with a pitch fork and with a chain saw! Hes crazy!

My sister in law has even came after me when i was preggers and tried to kick me in my stomach!
My father in law is a perv, i used to wake up to him watching me sleep. Hes a boob man, i know this cause i have big boobs!
My mother in law is crazy as well. She has cursed me out, yelled at me, put me down to my kids, cussed me out in front of me kids and even attacked me. I let her hit me 3 times cause her dad had died the day before but after that 3rd time, she got her ass whooped and ended up with a mild concussion.

Now, they treat mary differently, why, I do not know. All the other grandchildren dont get treated like this, I dont understand it personally. Mary is 5, yes she has a temper and lets it be known but give the kid a chance. They have even went so far as to doubt her paternity. Now, those who have seen my two kids know that theres no way you can doubt them being sisters. Heres a pic!

really, trust me, they are sisters, lol!

My inlaws are crazy! And it took up until about 2 years ago for my husband to truly stand up for me but he has started to. Plus, i can stand up for myself and he knows that!

But when you treat me child in a wrong way, its on and they know it!

Theres some of the story, trust me theres so much more but i cant type for hours on end!!!1

Weigh In Wednesday and Confessions!

So I maintained this past week, shocking considering my husband decided to buy me my kryptonite! Reeses eggs!!!!! I had ice cream too, not the healthy kind!

So weight for the week: 233

Thats ok! I maintained, and I am happy about that because it could of been so much worse!

So..... about shredding! I made it to day 3! I havent been able to do it since! My husband has taken over our TV with his new Wii game , its something to do with golds gym!
I finally let him know how upset i was about it too on monday! So he stopped his game and turned on the shred for me. I got going, could tell right away i hadnt done it in a few days! Was doing great but every time i bent over to do something, even just pick up the weights, my husband would be behind me saying "yeah baby, just like that". I cant laugh and work out, not possible for me. I asked him to go to another room cause of this and he wouldnt. He knows i cant stand it when he says crap like that, lol, its funny to hear but really, not attractive, lol! He just says it just to say it, cause trust me hes no barry white, he just likes to make me laugh!

I spent the whole day painting yesterday so no shred then either. Honestly, I dont even know if I will be able to tonight either. I have to drive my kids to my parents house to spend the next couple of days. I am going to miss my babies!!!!!

My inlaws treat my youngest very badly, I do not know why but I will not leave her with them anymore. LONG STORY!

I miss shredding, I truly do, I am going to start over at Day 1! Its only right!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Shred - Day 3

I completed my 3rd day yesterday with jillian! Its getting a little easier, I dont hurt as bad today as I did yesterday! My husband joined in half way through yesterday, lol!

I will be heading home soon for my 4 day weekend! I will do my shred tonight and even over my 4 day weekend! Even while the reeses eggs are staring at me. My husband referred to them today as my kryptonite, lol!

Have a wonderful easter everyone!!!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009


Look Me up!

30 Day Shred - Day 2 - I did it!

Yesterday, I knew jillian had worked me on day one! I knew there were actually muscles that I was feeling pain in that I had not felt in years! Push ups..... umm.... this is a lot of weight to hold up so I do the knee assisted type but yet still, alot of weight to hold up.
I did day 2 yesterday when I got home from work and while dinner was cooking. I had to take a couple of breaks though because the kids got home or the timer went off in the kitchen, but it was like 10 15 second breaks, lol.
In the beginning, i was hurting! About half way through i truly started to feel better and not in so much pain! My jumping jacks were higher and my butt kicks were higher, i felt great! I finished it!
I then decided to go to the YMCA and get my wednesday normal workout in. HAHAHA, i have to laugh at myself thinking that was going to be possible because of jillian trying to kill me.
I was able to do 2.35 miles on the elliptical as normal but nothing else. I did some strength training and went and sat in the sauna for about 10 minutes.

Today.... my calves, arms, shoulders and my right heel hurts!!! But I will be ok and will do day 3 tonight!!!!!!

Me and Jillian, We are developing a love hate relationship right now!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I Shred with the Sisterhood!

Yep, I'm shredding witht he sisterhood! Lastnight i tried it out for the first time. Few things i realized!

1. Doing this workout using youtube is not easy because its coming in 3 seperate sections, jillian is telling me not to stop but I have to so I can click play for the next part.
2. I hate push ups. So does my left arm, something kept popping when i was attempting these.
3. my legs are not in as good shape as i previously thought.
4. I need a more supportive sports bra to do the jumping jacks and jump rope moves because i swear i hit myself in the face a few times with the girls!
5. I want to do these workouts in the mornings but since I started at night, I am going to have to do 2 workouts in 12 hours to switch it up, not nice!
6. I am looking forward to the results 29 days from now. I started a day late!
7. My dvd will be here tomorrow!!!!

Don't you want o hate Jillian along with me?

So..... my before pictures

Well, technically I started this journey in January, I should of taken pics back then but did not. I am 23 lbs lighter than what I was in January and have lost some inches also. When I first saw these pics lastnight after taking them, I have to say, i felt like I hadnt dont as well as i thought. But this morning, looking at them again, yes, i am ashamed to post them but I'm doing something about this weight. So here they are, for everyone to see.

Front view, I just worked out doing the 30 day shred. Of course I dont look happy, Jillian does not like me and the feeling is mutual, lol!

I can see my legs are so much smalled than my midsection. I have alot of work to do! Geesh, now I can run and hide!

Weigh In Wednesday!

Well, this week I didnt do too bad. I stayed on point but definately did not work out like i wanted to!

Start of the challenge: 237.2
Last week weight: 234 EVEN
This morning at 6:15am : 233 EVEN

1 lb loss for the week
4.2 lbs. for the challenge so far, 10.8 lbs. to go!

Total loss since I started in January: 23 lbs!

I can probably thank jillian for the loss, she tried to kill me lastnight, seriously, lol!

I will be posting my before pics today. Be afraid because I started crying when I saw these and its a real eye opener for me! I am no where near where I want to be and its all in my midsection!!!!!!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

30 Day Shred

My DVD will not be here until the end of the week but the challenge started yesterday! I wish I would of thought of this yesterday but one day late is ok! Look what I found on you tube!

Level 2 and three are on there too! I am sure I will be doing level 1 until the DVD gets here, lol!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Super Hula Hoop!

OMG!!!! Up until lastnight I thought I was doing pretty good, Definately felt like I was in better shape than I was 2 months ago. I decided to do the Super Hula On my Wii Fit!
Now, I went into this pretty confident! I knew I would get above 3000 spins in those neverending 10 minutes! But.... I did it. I am hurting today, thinking that this is definately a fun thing i can do atleast everyday and a great way to burn some calories and make me relive my child hood some, lol.

My first time:

I think I did pretty good FIRST TRY!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

My Blog

I want it to look nice, like others I have seen! I want it to look all fancy and stuff and add buttons and stuff but I do not know how. Is there a How to blog I have yet to find, I need help!

Weigh In Wednesday!

I hopped on the scale again this morning, I am still at 234! I am ok with that because I couldnt go to the GYM lastnight but hey, I LOST so I am happy!
Last week: 237.2
This week: 234 EVEN

3.2 pounds lost.

11.8 to go for the shrinking into summer challenge!!!!!!!
WOO HOOO!!!!!!!!!!

30 day shred!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, you need to go to the shrinking jeans blog! I would insert a link if i knew how, lol!
Jillians 30 day shred from what I have heard is AWESOME! I would love to work with her! Especially considering I cant go to the Gym as often as I would like because my husband has to because his physical is coming up. He feels guilty for taking it away from me but were a team and it will be ok!!!!! Between the Wii Fit, turbo jam, hip hop abs and possibly the 30 day shred, I will be set!!